《秘密》(Secret) 翻译

I hold a heavy heart. 

 

My piercings, my blood, my etchings, 

My story, my life, my strengths and weaknesses 

Behind the impregnable shield of secrecy. 

 

I have confessed to so many people before, 

While dancing on the street, 

Yet I never understand what their biases are. 

They pretend to hear what I try to say, 

But they pass by, knowing what I have done from somewhere else.  

 

I speak of similar veins—of sadness, of misery, 

Of tears and blood, 

Of ambiguities and fine lines and red lines. 

Every story wraps around my heart, 

Repressing its beat with every bloodied string. 

It’s almost as if all my sins decided to turn on me— 

Killing me from the inside out, 

Drowning me to the furthest depths of the ocean,  

Even to which the fishes decide to not rest, 

Even where hell cannot overcome. 

  

And now, I have it here for you, my secret. 

 

I don’t ask for your forgiveness, if you’ve been involved. 

I don’t even ask for you to exonerate me before others. 

I ask for your understanding, your willingness to listen to the other side of so many stories. 

I want to know if I can live with my sins, tattooed on my soul like the real ones around my ribs. 

And, if I have the time and energy, let me find a way 

To purge them--to make a new life for myself so I can erase this from my consciousness. 

 

So, now I told you my secret—the secret that cannot be told… 

Promise me you will hide it, 

And take it to the earth and sky. 

翻译/Translation:

我拿着一颗沉默的心。

我的穿刺，我的血肉，我的蚀刻，
我的故事与生活，力量与脆弱，
它们都在我的坚不可摧盾牌后面。
当我在繁华街上跳舞的时候，
我对人山人海忏悔了，
可是我不知道如果它们看不起我。
虽然他们加装了听得懂我说的话，
但是他们继续走，
我的名字是一个舒服却恶毒的法宝。

我的血管透明了悲伤的岁月，
穿成我的血液与眼泪,
而陪我走了红线。
每个故事都把我的心绑扎了，
用我木条血清线压迫心跳。
我犯的罪决定了转而反对我,
就里勾外连地杀我，
就在苦海让我淹没--
连鱼都不会跟我睡觉，
连地狱都不能超越哪儿。

现在，我把我的秘密送给你。

如果你经过了悲伤，我不为你的宽恕要求，
也不想你为我开脱。
我祈求你的了解，你看见对方的原意。
我想知道我跟我的最活下去；
他们就像我的骨子上之纹身。
还有，如果我来得及，
就让我学会把我的鬼清洗，
为了我可能创造新的生活，
为了把我的过去驱逐我的精神。

所以，我告诉你我的秘密--
那个不能说的秘密，
答应我你会帮助我保密，
就把它带到遥远之天地。

灵感/Inspiration:

Photo by Mohamed Nohassi on Unsplash

《空缺》(Vacancy)

我的名字，只是一点点海盐;
让我继续游来游去，
也慢慢地刻着我的自负，
一个亮红色的纹身。

我的存在摇摇欲坠--
虽然花瓶早已破碎了，
但是我手里枯萎的菊花
学会了坚忍主义，
拒绝了腐烂。
微弱的意志
是一条
母亲橄榄树木的帆船，
逃不出
夏天的台风。

一百万首歌陪我
在一条向阴间的河流;
那些歌手不知道我牺牲了
一辈子里的青春，
就像把最后的米饭喂了小鸭。
黑社里的小公主
叫我的名字，
而我改弦易辙，
付出所有的意识。

我的手心透露了一个空缺；
它渴望的樱桃，
我早已给孩子们吃。
她喂我的石榴
慢慢地激发我的嘴,
就让它们悄然地召唤我的鬼--
我来不及把过去洗净。

如果有一天,上帝想评判我，
那就让他来看见我
可让他过来
麻雀的化身。

翻译/Translation:

My name is just a little bit of sea salt--
it makes me continue swimming,
and also carves through my vanity,
a bright red tattoo.

My existence hangs by a thread--
even though the flowerpot already broke,
the wilted chrysanthemums in my hands 
studied stoicism
and refused to rot.
A fragile will is
a sailboat made from 
my mother's olive trees,
unable to escape
the summer typhoon.

A million songs accompany me
as I sail across the river to the netherworld;
the singers do not know that I've 
sacrificed the youth in one's life,
like feeding ducklings the last bits of rice.
The princess of the underworld calls my name,
and I would change my tune,
paying with all my consciousness.

My palm reveals a vacancy;
the cherries it had yearned for 
were already given to other children.
The pomegranate she feeds me
slowly excites my lips,
and quietly makes them summon my ghosts--
I have no time to wash my past clean.

If, one day, God wants to judge me,
then let him come see me,
but make him come
incarnate as a sparrow.